All Mighty Words

Author: Scott Parham

Jewelry has always been the best companion of women. With the invention of the wrist watch, women became attracted to this new form of accessory. Over time, it was not uncommon for women to wear their new erist watches in business environments, sporting events, and parties. Of all brands of women’s watches, Rolex stands out as one of the most popular brands.

Lady Rolex watches are unique and beautifully crafted to perfection. Most of the women’s watches are made from solid 18k yellow gold, white gold or platinum. Precious stones such as diamonds, rubies, emeralds and many more are also used, making them a perfect jewelry gift for women.

Rolex manufactures a wide range of women’s watches that can suit the taste and style of any woman. Some of the most popular models of Rolex lady are the following:

•    Ladies Stainless Steel Silver Diamond Dial Rolex Oyster Perpetual: fFeatures a stainless steel case, though some models may also feature 18k white gold or yellow gold case. It has been one of the most recognizable women’s watches. Its major attraction is the stainless steel Oyster bracelet which gives a sporty look. It also features a silver diamond dial with 11 round cut diamonds set in 18k white gold and 18k white gold smooth bezel.

•    Ladies MOP Diamond Dial Rolex Super President: This model is truly special because of its Italian-made 18k Yellow Gold President bracelet, embedded with 232 sparkling diamonds. The bracelet is very striking. The case is made of 18k yellow gold with a gold crown and diamond lugs. Its added charm is the beadset diamond bezel with 30 round cut diamonds set in yellow gold and a mother of pearl diamond dial with 10 round cut diamonds. Other popular dial colors are champagne, silver and white gold.

•    Ladies Two Tone Black Stick Dial Fluted Bezel Rolex Datejust: Of all the ladies Fluted Bezel Rolex Datejust models, this model is the most popular one. The case is made of stainless steel with 18k yellow gold crown. Its 18k yellow gold & stainless steel Jubilee bracelet provides a classy look.

•    Ladies Two Tone Oyster MOP Diamond Dial Beadset Bezel Rolex Datejust: The mother of pearl diamond dial with 10 round cut diamonds set in 18k yellow gold really gives it a glamorous look. Its 18k yellow gold and stainless steel oyster bracelet is an attractive feature.

If you are looking for some elegant women’s watches, nothing can be better than a Rolex watch. Now, it has become possible to own a Rolex at wholesale prices. Melrose Jewelers offers pre-owned, authentic Rolex wristwatches at highly affordable rates. Each watch is inspected, adjusted, tested, refinished, refurbished, parts replaced, if necessary, and overhauled according to Rolex standards. They also offer other accessories such as gold band, diamond band and bezels for your Rolex.

Author: Scott Parham

Rolex is a leading name in the luxury watch industry. For over a century, the brand has been a distinguished symbol of performance and prestige. With as many as twenty eight affiliates and more than four thousand super skilled watchmakers working from over one hundred countries, Rolex continues to expand its saga of achievement and innovation. These watches provide the ultimate style statement as an accessory. Rolex adds a touch of class to the wearer’s style, and is more than just a watch. Over 200 small and delicate parts put together by hand in more than a year, ensure that Rolex remains the epitome of precision in the watch industry.

However, perfection comes for a price and so do Rolex watches. To own a Rolex, you either have to be a celebrity or a millionaire. But hold your breath! Now, authentic pre-owned Rolex watches are available with Melrose Jewelers at wholesale rates, for both men and women.
It is said that diamonds are women’s best friends…and when they come fitted in their watches; it’s like an icing on the cake. Rolex has a very large variety of ladies watches that you may give to the woman of your of dreams… and eventually impress her thoroughly.

Ladies Rolex Jewelry Watches are carefully crafted masterpieces that have been made to accentuate the beauty and sensuousness of a woman’s forearms. Delicately fitted diamonds on pure gold adds to the speciality of these watches. The expertise of the watchmaker is evident from the complex designs that have been executed with so much perfection.
The array of watches that can give your love life the most heady boost include:

•    Ladies Rolex Super Presidents
•    Ladies Rolex Presidents
•    Ladies Rolex Datejusts
•    Ladies Two Tone Jubilee Rolex Datejusts
•    Ladies Stainless Steel Jubilee Rolex Datejusts
•    Ladies Two Tone Oyster Rolex Datejust

With years of experience and worthy craftsmen, Melrose Jewelers presents you with the most exclusive preowned Rolex ladies watches. Their world renowned polishers ensure that each and every watch looks brand new. And what more? All these watches can be obtained with a single click on their www.melrosejewelers.com. Once ordered the watches reach you in a time span of 3-4 days, and a one year warranty is included on every watch sold.

So, next time you decide to give some thing to that one special lady in your life, give her Rolex, so that she feels nothing less than a celebrity while keeping track of time!!

Author: rakesh

What is it about leather that just makes something nicer? Everyone has their own reason to love leather; but, one thing that finds common grounds among all the leather lovers is its ability to look classy effortlessly. When you give someone a ‘Leather Photo Album’ it is the perfect classy gift!  Leather makes no loud statements and no over-the-top claims, its subtlety speaks for itself because class is what leather says. That’s why leather gifts shine with unmatched class

Have Leather? Got Taste.

A leather buyer will never pass off as an impulsive, thoughtless, or carefree buyer. When you buy leather you not only exhibit your sense of style but are also tagged as ‘the one with taste’. When gift hunting for the boss, you pick up a ‘Leather Journal’ with a message saying “as you write, we learn” he/she will not only be impressed, but will also appreciate your eye for good taste.

Leather Speaks Louder

Leather has another unique feature, when bought as a gift for someone it speaks on your behalf to the receiver. When you gift your colleague a ‘Leather Gift for the Office or for Travel,’ like a leather desk pad, a leather portfolio, a leather luggage tag, or maybe a leather key fob, it speaks of your appreciation. When you gift a chef friend a ‘Leather Menu’ it speaks for how well you understand the demands of his work. When you gift your ‘soon to be married’ best friend a ‘Leather Guest Book’ it speaks of how you wish all the guests to praise the hospitality. When you gift your golf-lover granddad a ‘Leather Golf Log’ it speaks for how much you respect his love for the game and your wishes for him to play forever.  When you gift a friend a leather photo album for the photos you took together, it shows your love of the memories.  Leather is priceless because it carries unspoken emotions, and it shows that you cared enough to find the perfect, unique gift.

Leather it Your Way

Think it doesn’t get any better? Well, even though leather can surprise and impress all on its own, it can still be even better. We, ‘Leather Keepsakes’ have found a way. With leather already slated as the ideal gift in every season and for every reason, we have only added to the reasons. You can now personalize your leather gifts with a custom engraving! Initials, names, sayings, and even a company logo can now be engraved in the leather, so they are not only classy but personalized as well. We use state-of-the-art laser technology to engrave right into the leather, and all the engravings are done in our factory, right here in the USA.

When giving a gift, make it unforgettable; leather makes that possible…each and every time!

Author: Peter Gitundu

I strolled the streets looking for a gift for my girlfriend. In my mind I was wondering what could probably impress her. It was her graduation and I could not figure out what to get her. On a previous occasion, I had bought her a dress which turned out to be tiny and she didn’t like it that much.

As I was passing a flower vendor, i stopped, looked at the flowers and noticed they were very beautiful and with a romantic scent. A thought crossed my mind that i needed flowers for my girlfriend. I stared at them and I said aloud,” I must be crazy.” The vendor had heard what I said; she asked me what the occasion was. I told her. She told me that flowers would be great so I went ahead and choose for her the best.

It’s the first time I gave real flowers to my girlfriend. She was certainly surprised to see the flowers as shown by her exclamation of admiration, glowing eyes and big beam. You know, after about a year we’ve been together it’s the very first bunch of flowers I had given her. It’s funny because she just loved to carry the flowers in her hands so much that she was holding the flowers so tightly all the way along. I was actually very thrilled by her positive reception of the flowers.

Months passed after this event and due to the reception that I received, I decided to surprise her even more. I did a little investigation and I found that I could actually book flowers for my girlfriend online and have them sent to her. There are florists’ services on the internet. Through them you can choose and buy flowers.

by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D.

“I love you”. Can any words possibly sound sweeter or offer greater comfort? Is any statement more natural–or necessary–between a parent and child? In many families, these words come easily. But if you grew up never hearing them, saying “I love you” may feel somewhat unnatural to you. Or if members of your family used loving statements to control or manipulate, you may be very uncomfortable using them with your own children.

Many families either don’t communicate loving feelings very often or they communicate them in destructive ways. A counselor friend once told me she was appalled to discover that some of her clients had never heard the words, “I love you” from their parents: “I couldn’t imagine parents who couldn’t say ‘I love you’ to their children, probably because I grew up hearing it all the time. But in the middle of my shock and self-righteousness, I realized that in my family, that statement was always loaded with expectations for me to do something. Most of the time when my parents said ‘I love you’ they would stand there and wait for us to say ‘I love you, too’. So that statement always came off as a solicitation, rather than an expression of how they really felt about us.”

If either of these extremes describe your upbringing, chances are, you aren’t using loving statements as often–or as “cleanly”–as you might. A few simple guidelines can help.

Let’s hear it! We all need to hear loving statements from people we care about. It may be easy to assume that your kids know you love them. After all, you do love them and you probably do a lot of loving things for them. That’s important.

But feeling love for someone is not the same as expressing it. Nor is doing loving things. Loving feelings and loving behaviors are not loving words–and those are important, too.

If you find it hard to get the words out of your mouth, either from lack of familiarity or fear of rejection, start slowly. A parent in one of my workshops confessed to practicing on the dog for a few days before she could get up the nerve to try it out on her kids! Another started by writing love notes to her children, sneaking them into their lunch bags or under their pillows. Both reported such a strong, positive response from their children, that saying “I love you” came much more easily after that.

Let’s hear it some more. None of this “I-told-you-I-love-you-in-1985″ stuff, OK? This isn’t like going to the dentist twice a year. So maybe it’s still not easy to say, even with the practice and little successes. Maybe hearing “I love you” even gives your kids the creeps (this is more age specific than anything else and less likely to happen if you don’t say it in front of his entire 5th grade class). Say it anyhow. As a gift to yourself, communicate your love daily. At least.

Keep it simple! “I love you” is a complete sentence. We don’t need to tie our feelings for a person to the person’s behavior. In fact, whenever we connect it to something the other person has done, “I love you” becomes a statement of conditional caring.

“I love you when you make your bed”, or “I love you when you make the honor roll”, suggest that you love your child because of his behavior or accomplishment. It also suggests that the love wouldn’t be there–or be quite the same–if the child hadn’t made the bed or the grades. (Don’t you love your kid in either case?) You can still be excited and happy about the behavior, but avoid communicating that your loving feelings for your child exist because he’s doing what pleases you.

“I love you”. Period.

No “buts” about it! By the same token, watch the tendency to use “I love you” as a lead-in to a confrontation about something your child has done that you find disturbing. If you need to address the child’s behavior or set a boundary, by all means do so. But deal with the behavior–not the worth of the child, or your feelings for him or her.

If the child needs to clean her room or miss the movie because her chores were not done, deal with the situation, not your feelings. You don’t need to say, “I love you but…” to soften the blow. Your feelings are not an issue here.

Besides, because of the way the brain processes the words we hear, whatever you say before the word “but” automatically gets canceled out anyhow. (In other words, if you say, “I love you, but your room is a mess,” all the child ends up hearing is, “Your room is a mess.”)

Using “but” in the same sentence as “I love you” is confusing and manipulative. As in the previous example, this type of statement suggests that the child is only lovable conditionally. Cut to the chase. Avoid tying the feelings you express to the way the child is acting–good or bad.

No expectations. Say “I love you” because you want to say “I love you.” Say it because you feel love toward the person you’re talking to. Say it because it feels good to say it.

“I love you” is a powerful statement and lots of times it will evoke a loving response from the recipient. But attaching an expectation for a response to the statement is a set-up–both for you and the other person. If the expectation is there, your child will know it. If he does respond, it will probably be to avoid guilt or conflict rather than genuine, spontaneous caring. Is that what you really want?

If your children haven’t learned how to say “I love you” yet, it’s OK to tell them that you need to hear those three little words sometimes, too. Then give them some space to risk, practice and learn. By far their best lessons will come from your own unconditional modeling.

Turn the love inward. Next to unconditional love, the best gift you can give another person is the love you give yourself! In fact the ability to love, appreciate and care for yourself is essential to healthy, loving relationships with others.

So, look in the mirror. Look into your eyes. Say “I love you.” No “buts.” No qualifiers. Say it out loud. Say it often. Mean it.

What better way to affirm how worthwhile and lovable you are. And what better way to practice one of the most basic, most precious and important parenting skills there is.

When your children aren’t very loving…

“I HATE YOU, MOMMY!”

OK. You’re really working hard on your boundaries and recognize that sometimes responsible parenting means saying “no” to your child’s request for Milk Duds for dinner or a plea for a 4 a.m. curfew. If your child is doing her job, you can count on her to occasionally resist you efforts at setting even reasonable limits. And sometimes that means she is going to fight dirty, especially if it’s worked in the past.

“I HATE YOU, MOMMY!”

Nothing will trigger anger, shame, shock and a sense of inadequacy faster than this statement. It’s hard to hear someone you love tell you that he hates you and not take it rather personally. Children know this. They figure out, often at a very early age, that this is a short-cut to a lot of attention (negative attention though it may be) and often to getting their own way.

So, how do you respond?

It’s actually pretty simple–at least on paper. First of all, resist the temptation to talk about how this statement “really hurts me and brings up all my abandonment and inadequacy issues.” Sure, tell your therapist or your sponsor, but don’t dump on your 4-year-old. (Even if your children happen to have degrees in psychiatry, do you really want to make them responsible for your feelings? They’re not, you know, and the burden can be overwhelming even for healthy, well-adjusted adults with excellent personal boundaries!)

Instead, acknowledge the feelings behind the statement: “You sound pretty angry,” “You’re upset about that’” or even “I understand.”

Disengage–especially if you find yourself getting upset. Watch out for the temptation to hurt back. Saying “I hate you too, sometimes!” may be exactly what you are feeling at the moment, but it won’t help you, your child or your relationship for you to become a 4-year-old who is acting out. If you need some support, encouragement, reassurance or understanding, call on your adult resources.

And leave the door open for further discussions with your child at a later, and calmer, time: “Let’s talk about this in a little bit.”

If you are able to stay “unhooked” and refuse to change your mind because your child has said that she hates you, she’s far less likely to continue using this statement to manipulate your feelings and behaviors. Plus, you’ll be able to hang onto the idea that you’re still a wonderful and lovable person–no matter what your kids say!

*Yes this works on Daddies, too.

By: Michele De Capitani

If reading novels is one of your hobbies, you must have come across phrases like “when he entered the room, his eyes met a gaze and the rest was history.” The first love attraction power is a mystery to many and we have experienced it even in our very own lives. Research has revealed that first love escapades have little to do with romance. The news is, that first look in her eyes was a pure case of sex and ego. Research has shown that people are attracted to people who are attracted to them. If only we can only sit and think about it, the first sight attraction is not a special case. The dancing eyes and the smiling face make people appear to be more attractive. If you know a stone faced person for a couple of weeks, the moment they will let you into their happy world you will certainly feel attracted. The timing of the effect is what makes it special.
Social signals have proved that attractiveness is not solely based on physical beauty. Facial attractiveness and masculine bodies do not guarantee attraction if the social signals do not reveal appeal. The first love situation is has its grounds on social cues which says “i like you or i am attracted to you.” If the concerned party is looking at you directly in the eyes, chances are they also feel something for you. The team researching whether love at first sight is a case of sex and ego, placed four different categories of digital images together. The girls with happy faces, another category of sulking girls, excited men with happy faces and the final category of disgusted-looking men. After analyzing the scenario, the scientists found out that a direct glance at the camera looked more appealing if the image looked like they are smiling at you.
The picture’s face looked overly beautiful if it belonged to a person from the opposite sex. People with direct stares look more appealing compared to people with averted stares. Another discovery revealed that people feel more attractive and more attracted when being looked at. They also feel more sexy and they spot imaginative sexual appeal in the person looking at them. This proves that attraction at first sight is just a case of sex and ego. After several months or days of being together, the attraction wears out.
From an evolutionary point of view, it takes a lot of energy to attract a mate. What many victims of first love cases do, when they spot an encouraging move from somebody else, they tend to move with lightening speed. They are in a hurry to mate and they therefore label it as love at first sight while in reality it is lust at first sight. After the passion, such a relationship comes to an end. It is the ultimate example of sex and ego. If you keep on investing a lot in first sight attractions, you better save your time by trying to build a long-lasting relationship with somebody else you know.

Love, the feeling that makes a person new and feel heavenly. Love, a feeling that changes life within a moment. Have we not heard of love at first sight? One who was happy go lucky in the morning, gets deep and dreamy looks in the eyes by the time the evening arrives. What happened? He/she fell in love during the day and now does not know what to do?

The very first response of such people is dreaming. They have dreams during the night and more often during the day. They lose all attention to their work and the only work left for them is to think of their latest sweetheart. Then begins the planning of where to meet again? How to spot that lovely person again? Through friends, or what? Depends on where the love was found at the first place. After getting few glimpses more, the love deepens and the dreams become more frequent. But at the same time, fear sets in. What if the other party refuses to reciprocate? What if the other one does not like me? So looks are given immediate attention. ‘What if the other party is already in love with someone? That will be horrible. Let me not think of that at all. And if it comes to that, I will move heavens to win my love.’

And the final question. How do I say, I Love You? Shall I send a letter with flowers? Shall I send the message through some friend? Shall I meet and dare to tell across the table? How about sending an anonymous letter saying that so and so is madly in love with you. How about you? Shall I first ask for a date and get to become more friendly and then come up with my proposal? One keeps on thinking of so many alternatives and then suddenly one day, blurts out. Please I love you. How about you? And the response is - I also love you since I saw you for the first time, but did not know how to say? Try sending some ecards with messages of love, probably that will be the best way out in this situation.

The world is full of flowers. Visit any place dedicated to flowers and you will be amazed at the types of flowers, and facts about them. Flowers come in all shapes, and colors. Some of them can intoxicate you with their lovely perfume. Some are so delicate that one fears touching them. And all of them are stunningly beautiful. still, it is the Rose which is preferred around the world as a flower of choice on the Valentine’s day? I wonder about this. And though I have not tried to search for the reasons, here is my own theory on why it is so. One another fact struck me. We can get Roses in many colors but still it the dark red that is preferred as the flower of love. Why?

Let us first think about the color choice. I think that dark red must be the preferred color as it looks like red. And every true lover is ready to shed his/her blood for the beloved. Also love is associated with the heart, and heart pumps blood. So red signifies love. Colors have their own significance, looking at any white color, the first thought is of purity. Same way red means love.

Now let us examine our central theme. Why Rose? A Rose has thorns. But the thorns are below the Rose. The Rose represents life beautifully. It has very soft petals, that tell us about the soft side of living and thorns to convey that life is not all the bed of Roses without thorns. What does a lover do? A true lover will always take the thorns and give only the soft flowers to his/her darling. That is love and love demands that one give only comfort to one’s darling. Love demands sacrifice. Love demands giving of joy. Love demands that all pain be kept away from the beloved. That is also the message a lover sends across to his/her beloved with a Rose. I have kept the thorns with myself and I am sending you these soft flowers . I think this is the reason why on Valentine’s day, the red Rose is the flower of choice.

Approximately three decades ago, few people associated Australia with wine. Today the country enjoys an enviable wine reputation world over.
Australia has become a dominant wine force in many English-speaking countries i.e the UK, the USA, Ireland, Canada and even New Zealand. The success of Australian wines hinges on a number of very astute decisions of industry executives and investors. First and foremost, Australia’ s climate and soil are very conducive to viticulture. Grapes are always picked ripe, sometimes even over-ripe. There are very few restrictions in both growing grapes and making wine. Most are made for quick consumption, their prices are reasonable, they appeal to young palates (fruit-forward and up-front), and marketing techniques better than most traditional producers.

Today, Australian wines fare well even in some European countries like Sweden, Switzerland and Germany a wine producer itself. However, Australian conglomerates intend to introduce their style of wine to the French too. To that end, some wineries purchased huge tracts of land in Languedoc (France) and are now making wine from the fruit they grow.  Europeans, including the British, are happy to buy them and if trends continue Canadians and Americans will consume even more than now since they have discovered the merits of Australian-made French wines!

Australia is not a natural grape growing country. When the first British set foot on Australian soil in 1788 under the direction of Captain Arthur Phillips, there were no vines, but the party had brought some cuttings and after a few false starts, colonists were able to grow grapes successfully and made wines that actually were given awards in England. Over two centuries, significant progress was made, and today Australia produces fruit-driven, appealing, high-alcohol wines at reasonable cost.

Australians treat wine as an agricultural product and understand the importance of marketing. They spend a lot of effort and funds to promote their wines, and hide little, if anything from the consuming world, whereas traditional European producers have always tried to make wine appear to be a mysterious and magical product. Yes, wine can be ephemeral and deliciously mysterious, but there is no mystery in making honest wine. If you have quality grapes and know how to make wine, the result will be at the very least good, and at best outstanding.  Presently Australia has approximately 140,000 hectares under vines producing some nine million hectolitres of wine, of which approximately 1/3 are exported. The best markets are: the UK, the USA, Canada, Germany and some Commonwealth countries.

Australia produces mostly red wines using Shiraz, Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Pinot Noir, Mourvedre, Grenache, Cabernet Franc, and blends of them. These are soft, fruity, full-bodied, very appealing wines that can be consumed shortly after purchase and do not require long cellaring, something young consumers appreciate. Australian red wines exude fruit, sometimes maybe even too much, and little tannin, but this is precisely what makes them appealing to young people who have been the best customers.

For white wines vignerons prefer Chardonnay, Semillon, Colombard, Riesling, Sauvignon Blanc, Marsanne, Viognier and Muscat. Australian Chardonnay, which young North Americans seem to associate with white wine has been particularly successful because of its immediate appeal, Fruity ( pineapple and tropical fruits ), soft, medium to full-bodied Australian Chardonnays appeal to a young, untrained palate, since they are easy to drink and can be easily appreciated. Always reasonably priced, Australian Chardonnays have captured a huge market share, which continues to expand.

Australian wine winemakers blend to achieve a desired balance and their techniques end up yielding better end-products than components would if bottled unblended. Southcorp and Fosters Group are two wine conglomerates dominating production and marketing. Both maintain marketing offices in Canada and the USA to constantly refine plans with the objective of expanding their market share. Their success has prompted French wineries and government agencies to take note. Both are seriously rethinking their marketing strategies in an attempt to recapture at least some of the lost market share.

Unquestionably, Hunter Valley, McLaren Vale, Barossa Valley, Margaret River, Murray Valley, and Riverland are the big producers, but Australia still has other regions such as Tasmania that can potentially become very important. Some wineries have already vinted great, acid-driven Pinot Noir, Chardonnay and Riesling more appealing to jaded palates, willing and bale to spend more for their drinking pleasure.

Australia also produces some outstanding and very expensive wines capable of aging for decades. One such is Grange Hermitage consisting mainly of Shiraz, a grape variety imported from the Rhone Valley in the 19th century. It adapted to local conditions so well that it yields a completely different wine to its counterpart in France. The French understand the notion of terroir (combination of soil and climate) very well, and once again their theory has been proven to be correct – that grape variety alone cannot be considered the only determinant of taste. Only two decades ago Canada’s largest wine consuming provinces, Ontario, Quebec and B C were selling a few Australian wines; now the choice is significant and growing.

L C B O, the world’s single biggest beverage alcohol purchaser, offers at least 40 Australian reds and 30 whites. In addition L C B O ‘s Vintages division features a good number of fine Australian wines in its monthly releases. (For a gratis and complete monthly list contact L C B O). Also  practically all Ontario agents endeavour to sell privately imported wines, called “ consignment products “.

Here are some of the best L C B O general list Australian wines:
Chardonnay, Banrock Station
Black Opal Chardonnay, Mildara-Blass
Jacob’s Creek Cgardonnay
Sauvignon Blanc Bin 95, Lindeman’s
Riesling Bin 7, Leasingham
Limestone Coast Chardonnay, Lindemans
Barossa Semillon, Peter Lehmann
Diamond Sauvignon Blanc, Rosemount Estate
Chardonnay/Semillon, Rosemount Estate
Poacher’s Blend, St Hallett

Red Wines
Shiraz Banrock Station
Black Opal Cabernet/Merlot, Mildara-Blass
Black Opal Cabernet Sauvignon, Mildara-Blass
Black Opal Shiraz, Mildara-Blass
Shiraz, Deakin Estate
Jamieson’s Run Coonawara Cabernet/Merlot/Shiraz, Penfold’s
Limestone Coast Shiraz, Lindemans
Shiraz/Cabernet Sauvignon, Rosemount Estates
Black Label Cabernet Sauvignon, Seppelt
Gamekeeper’s Reserve, St. Hallett
Long Flat red, Tyrell’s
Long Flat Shiraz, Tyrell’s
Red Label Shiraz/Cabernet Sauvignon, W. Blass
South Australian Shiraz, w> Blass
Yellow Label Cabernet Sauvignon, W. Blass
Bin 555, Wyndham Estate

Article contributed by Hrayr Berberoglu, a Professor Emeritus of Hospitality and Tourism Management specializing in Food and Beverage. Books by H. Berberoglu

by Toni Coleman, LCSW

The stores are decorated in candy hearts, flowers and bears. Every TV or radio commercial reminds you that it’s time to remember your sweetheart on this special day for lovers. Your feelings range from sadness, to revulsion to anger. What’s a single person to do? The following suggestions are designed to both answer that question and to help you have a good day after all, while working to make it your last solo one.

1. Celebrate the day by planning an activity that is meaningful and enjoyable to you.

Choose something that provides you with a special treat. Go to a day spa for “the works”, plan an intimate dinner for 3 or 4, go ice-skating or to the movies with a fun friend, or go out to dinner and a movie with a group of other singles. Focus on what you enjoy and make a conscious decision about how to mark the day. Un-Valentines Day parties are very popular and can be a lot of silly fun. You can attend one or throw one of your own.

2. Design a relationship-building plan.

Let the holiday provide you with the motivation to take risks, try new ideas and gain the knowledge that will enable you to find and create a lasting, intimate relationship.

• Sit down at the computer or with pen and paper in hand and get your plan written down.
• Begin by making a list of resources that can be used to help you meet available singles. These can include: on-line dating sites, singles groups, volunteer activities, or participation in sports or other activities that you enjoy.
• Decide when and how often you will participate in any activity you have chosen.
  *Make a budget for both time and available funds for this purpose.
• Do your homework and research each resource so the information will be available when you need it.

3. Review those resolutions you made, or make some if you haven’t yet.

Think about what is really important to you. Remind yourself that implementing and sticking to these will help ensure that you are really ready for that special relationship. Being the kind of person you want to be with is the first step. Begin with concrete goals. For example: stick with a healthy diet, exercise three times a week, plan one organizational task per week, etc. Taking care of yourself and living well, will optimize your chances for relationship success. Start today.

4. Work to eliminate negative thinking.

When a negative thought comes into your mind, take a moment to think about what is beneath it. Then, tell yourself that thinking this way is not good for you. Make a decision to drop the thought and try to think of something (anything) that is positive. It can be as simple as focusing on what a beautiful day it is outside, to feeling grateful that you survived the current wave of lay-offs in your company. Use this technique for situations as well. Ask yourself how you can view the situation differently. Try to find one positive angle or outcome that could result from an otherwise bad situation. For example, you are being laid off from your job. You have been unhappy for a long time, but could not motivate yourself to do anything about it. Now, you have the motivation to look for a new job, or perhaps change careers. Think of all the possibilities that could open up for you.

Negative thinking is a downward spiral that leads to negative behavior and possibly depression. Consciously choose to challenge these thoughts, and empower yourself with a more positive outlook and approach to life.

Hopefully these tips will assist you in having a better “solo” Valentine’s Day than you might have been headed for. Enjoy the day by doing something fun. Then focus on your relationship plan and empower yourself to build the healthy, lasting relationship of your dreams.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. I want to do something fun on Valentines Day. I really just want to take my mind off of the whole couples thing and feel ok to be who and where I am right now. My problem is with my friends. I am a female and most of my friends are too. We have talked about getting together and doing something un-Valentine’s Day. My concern is that my friends will be very negative in their approach to all this. I find it hard to sit and listen to everyone compl ain about how there are no good guys around to date, etc. I’m not sure if I should do something with the group or alone. What do you think?

A. Sometimes the group (as a group) feeds on itself and makes the negativity worse. Can you (as a group) agree to keep things light and fun? Could you agree to “rules” about no negative comments or feelings being aired? Perhaps you could all go somewhere, maybe to a movie or play, where there is a structure and a focus provided. If not, consider going out with, or getting together with, a few friends from your group. You know, the fun ones who make you laugh, not cry. In the event this is not possible, you will have to decide if a quiet evening in, or a solo activity out, are preferable to being bombarded with negative comments regarding your accessibility to potential dates and future partners.

Q. I would like to pretend that Valentine’s Day doesn’t exist. After all, it has become just another day of “celebration” that is overly commercialized and puts stress on those in relationships as well as those who feel left out. Does this sound strange? Will ignoring it work for me?

A. It sounds all too familiar. After all, good relationships don’t (or shouldn’t) require that we do something special under pressure, one day a year. Instead, relationships are about all those days that we do the best we can, which is the best way to demonstrate caring. That being said, it can be hard to ignore the 14 of February. Think about how you would feel during and after, if you took this approach. Also ask yourself if you feel that way because you are single. If so, would the day consist of hurt and/or angry feelings? If so, you may need to be more proactive in your approach. Plan your day, rather than wait for it to just happen. Love yourself by vowing to have a good day, free of negative feelings. Do something special that is very un-Valentines Day. Or, if you choose, do nothing “special” at all. Just take care to focus on the positive while minimizing and containing the negative.