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Sep 26

Author: Beverly Sugarman

Picking a name for your new baby can be one of the hardest decisions that you have to make. While many people stick with family names, others prefer less traditional ones.

The most popular boys’ names according to the birth statistics for 2007 include ones that originally come from Hebrew, English, Irish, Welsh, and American. The top names that are Hebrew are Ethan (which means strong), Jacob (which means Supplanter), Noah (which means peace), and Caleb (which means rage like a dog). The Irish names are Connor (wolf lover) and Aidan (little fire). The name Jaden is a combination of the Irish Aidan and Jay (which is Latin for “a member of the crow family”). From the British Isles come Braden, which is English and means “from the wide valley” and Dylan, which is Welsh for “son of the sea.” The only American name that made the most popular list is Kaden, which means “fighter.

If you would rather give your son a more traditional name, there are many of these to choose from as well. Some common names that originally come from Hebrew include Michael (Who is Like God?) and John (God is gracious). The name Stephen is Greek in origin (crown) while Mark is Latin (warlike). Common English names include Richard (brave ruler), William (strong warrior), Matthew (gift of God), and Robert (bright fame).

If you are expecting a daughter, the most popular girls’ names in 2007 includes ones that are Greek, Hebrew, Latin, English, Italian, Irish, and American. Chloe is a popular Greek name which means “blooming,” while the Latin names include Emma (universal) and Ava (like a bird). The Italian contribution to the most popular names list is Isabella, which means “God is my oath” while the name Abigail is Hebrew and means “joy of the father.” Girls’ names that originated in the British Isles include the English Madeline (Woman of Magdala) and Olivia (elf army) and the Irish Brianna (high noble). Cailyn and Caitlyn are both American names in origin and mean “pure.”

If you are interested in a more traditional name for your daughter, there are many of these to choose from as well. Mary (sea of bitterness) and Elizabeth (God is my oath) are both Hebrew in origin, while Grace (grace of God) and Victoria (conqueror) are both Latin. Two names that are Greek in origin are Catherine (pure) and Melissa (bee). Two names that mean “pearl” are Margaret (which is English) and Megan (which is Welsh). The name Nicole is French in origin and means “victory of the people.”

In today’s society, you can name your child just about anything that you want to (for example, Moon Unit). While many parents decide to name their children after other family members, others choose to come up with their own. If you would like to consider a variety of names for your new baby, there are numerous books and Websites that can give you a complete listing and will also tell you the language in which a name originated and its original meaning. You should have no difficulty in finding a name that is perfect for your new arrival. Happy hunting!

Sep 26

Author: Janet R.

An expectant mom is soon to give birth, having a new baby is a life changing event for her. Family member and friends are expecting too, and perhaps they want to give memorable gifts for the coming of the newborn child. However, it isn’t always as easy to find ideal gifts - especially for an infant - that are not common, or shall we say “unique” that can make a favorable impact. With so many varieties to choose from, it is a real challenge as to how and what to pick. Consider the following helpful gift ideas:

Personalized Gifts

Personalized infant products and supplies are always best. Most parents as well as parents’ friends and other family members think of giving personalized items to welcome a child, because of the fact that these gifts are not just practical, but can also give a sense of thoughtfulness and adoration. You may think that finding personalized gifts can be very tough, but if you find fun and enjoyment while shopping for cute and clever newborn pieces, chances are you will find what you are looking for. Most of personalized babies’ stuff are found at specialty stores, but you could also shop at online stores for a wider selection.

Different choices for personalized items await you, from very simple to very exquisite. You may find personalized newborn clothing like shirts, beddings and blankets, bibs, socks, hats and other layettes. Consider a Personalized Organic Thermal Baby Blanket that can make a beautiful, healthy and personalized blanket, and a sweet gift to warm your precious one. Other clothing options are personalized infant caps, monogram sweaters, burp cloth sets, pillow and blanket sets and more.

Another personalized gifts for newborn babies are personalized furniture like theme flip stools, personalized stuffed and teething toys, picture frames, feeding wares and the like.

Baby Gift Basket

A baby gift basket is another great option to welcome a child with a more fun and festive atmosphere. Gift baskets are abundant surprises not just for the baby alone but also for the parents. A usual baby gift basket is filled with different products and supplies for infants. It can have a compilation of clothing, baby food, toys and the like. Although gift baskets are known to be made from a real basket, you could also use other container options to hold numerous gift items, such as laundry baskets, medium size plastic jars, pail or a baby bath tub, or even a bucket.

Gift baskets can also include special treats for mom and dad. Apart from their infant’s supplies, you can also add spa products to pamper the strained body of the new mom. Also, books and magazines for good parenting are ideal, where new parents are guided with reliable articles and advices for their new role in raising their child - an ideal new mom gift. You may opt for a Maie Baby Girl Gift Basket to greet a baby girl! A festive present with a delicate floral design that gives classy and upscale appeal for your pretty little girl. It features different unique essentials from popular Baby Dry Goods line.

Sep 26

Author: Beverly Sugarman

As everyone knows, toddlers are always on the move and full of energy. While normal play is a natural stage in the development of your child’s gross motor skills, you may also need to have him participate in activities that can help to tune in his fine motor skills.

Gross motor skills are those that involve basic movements, such as walking and jumping. Fine motor skills are those that deal with the small movements that are executed with precision and usually involve the fingers, hands, and wrists. One way that you can help your child to develop these skills is to play with building blocks. By stacking these items, your child will learn to carefully place one block on top of the other. This exercise can also help to build his decision-making skills, as he will need to plan how to place the blocks to build the design that he wants.

Allowing your child to perform simple tasks for himself can also help to develop his fine motor skills. Working with him and teaching him how to button his shirt and work a zipper are excellent ways to give him practice at performing precision tasks. You can also allow him to help you with certain household tasks, such as folding washcloths. The folding process will also require your child to plan his movements in order to fold a cloth into a square.

Helping in the kitchen and feeding himself is also excellent ways in which you can help your child to develop his fine motor skills. His coordination will be tuned as he learns to put food on a spoon and to aim it towards his mouth. Allowing him to butter his own toast can also help to develop the precision movements in his wrist.

Another good way to help your toddler to develop his fine motor skills is to allow him to color and draw. You should make sure to have washable crayons and markers as little ones may not understand that they are only suppose to do this activity on paper. Finger-painting is another activity that you can share with him that will help him to concentrate and focus on using one finger at a time. Both these activities will also allow him to explore his imagination and use any creative talents that he might possibly possess.

An easy exercise for your child to help develop these skills as well as his coordination is to sing and dance to “activity” songs that require movement while singing. A few examples of these are “If You’re Happy and You Know It”, “Ring Around the Rosey,” and “The Itsy Bitsy Spider.” There are also a number of interactive CDs and DVDs that focus on children’s songs that your child can listen and dance to. These products can teach your youngster how to follow directions. The DVDs also contain a large amount of color and movement to keep your child’s attention focused.

These are just a few of the many activities that you can share with your toddler to help him to develop his fine motor skills. For more information, you can discuss your child’s skills with your doctor or search online for more creative ideas to help your child to improve his motor skills, coordination, and balance.

Sep 26

Author: Len Stauffenger

Divorce is one of the most painful things I’ve ever gone through personally. It brings in a huge basketful of doubt about your own worthiness and goodness as a human being. It makes you wonder if you’ll ever be able to trust anyone else again. It makes you feel overwhelmed with the tasks you can see ahead of you.

Every good soldier knows not to cross a battlefield without a map of where the land mines are buried. Your battlefield has become, by default, raising your children in the best manner you know how. For the sake of the children, it would be great if you and the spouse you are divorcing could sit down and create this parenting plan together. If that’s not possible, then you need to provide some answers to these questions. Deciding ahead of the time when crucial issues must be decided will give you an edge.

About The Children’s Feelings

1. Decide how you will tell your children that you are divorcing. If you don’t think quickly on your feet, write it down ahead of time on paper.

2. Make sure they know it was not due to anything they did.

3. Tell them what changes you know have to be made and that you’ll make them together. Let them know you’ll try to keep as much the same as you can.

4. Decide that you won’t say anything to them (like making promises) that you can’t follow through on. Their stability leans on your follow through.

5. Decide not to badmouth your ex in front of your child. He still loves him or her and deserves to.

6. Children need both parents. Try to keep moving out of the picture.

About Custody

1. Keep up relationships with in-laws whenever possible. It’s part of your kids stability.

2. Decide here and now not to use your child’s time with his other parent as a battering ram to punish your ex. It will hurt your child.

3. If your ex doesn’t show up when promised, don’t make it a big deal in front of your kids, no matter how angry that absence makes you.

4. Decide right now that you will not grill your children when they come home from visiting their other parent about him/her or their new mate.

5. Keep an information sheet with all statistical data about the child and be sure his other parent and his child care giver has a copy.

6. Determine which holidays and school breaks will be spent with which parent.

7. Share information about the child’s health, school, etc. with his other parent.

8. The child’s greatest good is the most important thing in ongoing communication.

9. If the child support cannot be paid on time, it can be collected by the court.

10. Which one of you will be the health care coverage provider?

About Goals For The Children

1. See if you and your ex can establish the same levels of discipline. Be reasonable. Examine what TV shows they can watch; what bedtime needs to be honored; what language is appropriate for example.

2. Determine that homework has to be monitored by both of you, not just the parent the child is living with.

3. Decide with your ex where you’d like to see the kids’ achievements in the future and work to keep that goal in mind.

4. Don’t permit your child to become alienated from his other parent. He needs both parents.

5. Children thrive when their routines aren’t varied. Each parent should try to honor the child’s normal routine. Consistency will help keep your child level and achieving normally.

6. Consequences for misbehaviors have to be kept consistent by each parent. Decide what they will be and then follow through.

7. Determine what your standards are for achievement in school and each of you work to support the child to achieve them.

8. If your children have special needs, address how they will be supplied by each of you.

About Your Feelings

1. Don’t confide your personal less-than feelings to your child. She/he is not a therapist. She/he cannot solve for you.

2. You will need some alone time. Set this up with your ex. Do whatever it takes to keep yourself sane and level - bubble baths; gardening; a hobby. You’ll know.

3. Get a coach, a minister, an older aunt/uncle who can help you through tough situations that occur. You’ll benefit from having a support team.

4. You will have to put your children’s needs before your own until they are grown. Don’t ignore your own needs, however. They must be addressed.

5. If there are disputes over child rearing, seek the help of an arbitrator. Don’t feel so all alone.

6. Admit that you were wrong to your children if you were. Children love honesty and, frankly, they already knew you were wrong. Their esteem of you will increase with honesty and you’ll love having an open, honest relationship with them.

These ideas are not all inclusive. There’s a lot more you can find on the internet to flesh these in. With a parenting plan, you can prevent your kids from the negative effects your divorce might have on them. It can also prevent a second divorce and your children certainly don’t need that. I don’t want to see that happen to you either.

Sep 25

Author: Vicki Rossington

More and more time poor parents are now turning to online boutiques for their children’s clothing. As one mum reiterates “I shop online for all of my daughter’s clothing now. It saves me time, I don’t have to worry about the hassle of dragging my little ones around busy shopping malls, they don’t enjoy it and I can’t get any shopping done, it is easier to do it at home when I have the time to sit and relax and browse the online girls fashion boutiques”. It makes sense, in many families today both parents are working and just don’t have time to traipse around large shopping malls with upset children in tow.

There are thousands of online girl’s clothing boutiques far out numbering boy’s clothing boutiques, Shopping for girls’s clothing online offers an endless array of boutiques, brands and labels, but how can the consumer be sure that they are purchasing safely or even if their purchases will actually arrive after their payment has been received? Here are a few tips to follow:

  • Check to see if the online girls fashion boutique has a safe way for consumers to purchase items. Is the site secure? Many online boutiques are now using paypal as their primary way for consumers to purchase goods. Paypal is a secured site and an easy way to pay for purchases. Consumers can pay via credit card and are provided with the option to open an account if they want to.
  • Make sure you check the shipping prices before you commit to buy. Reputable boutiques will have shipping options and costs on their website.
  • Check the currency you are paying in, if you are shopping in an online boutique in Canada you don’t want to be paying in US dollars.
  • Check if the girls fashion boutique has a prominent display of customer service information. If customer service is a priority, policies will be easily found by the consumer.

A great way to ensure you are purchasing girls clothing online safely is to look for the ‘shopsafe’ logo. Shopsafe is an online, private organization. Merchants from ornline stores need to apply and comply with Shopsafe’s policies to be added to their list of online stores which they consider to be reputable businesses. According to the Shopsafe website only 40% of online stores who apply to Shopsafe are accepted. After an online girls clothing boutique has been accepted by Shopsafe the merchant can display the logo on their website.

If a consumer has difficulties with a merchant who is listed with them, the consumer can request intervention on their behalf from Shopsafe. Shopsafe will then investigate the complaint. If they believe the merchant has acted in an unfair or unreasonable manner shopsafe will remove them from their list of shopsafe merchants. Shopsafe can be found in the following countries:

America www.shopsafe.com

Sep 21

by Elizabeth Pantley author of The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007)

Does your child dawdle, complain or fuss
when you drop her off at daycare or preschool? Some children have a
difficult time adjusting to changes. They like things to flow in a
predictable way. Anything that upsets their current activity is cause
for alarm. These children require a bit more thought to help them
maneuver the changes they encounter in their day.

Create very specific routines.
Consistency can help your child be more comfortable. Very
specific means that you do and say the exact same things every time you
drop her off and pick her up. For example, park in the same area, enter
through the same door, approach the cubby, hang the coat, check the job
chart and comment on the day’s assignment, give two hugs and two kisses
and say, “See ya later alligator!”

Let your child know when you will arrive each day.
It’s comforting for a child to know that you will be there at
a certain time. Tie in your arrival with a specific activity, such as
after snack time, and let your child know when to expect you.

Schedule an adjustment period.
When you drop off your child, and again when you pick her up,
allow a five-minute adjustment period. (The time is worth it, as you’ll
save at least fifteen minutes of fussing!) When you arrive at the
center allow your child to play or show you something for five minutes.
When it’s time to leave, use a fun indicator, such as a tickle on the
neck, or hold up your key ring and have it tell your child (in a funny
voice) that the car is waiting and ready to go.

Have a fun routine for the drive home.
Leave a snack bag on your child’s seat with different contents
every day, such as graham crackers, dry cereal, pretzels, or fruit.
Play a certain game in the parking lot as you walk to the car, such as
counting all the red cars you see, or counting your steps. Mention
something that your child can look forward to at home, such as reading
the new library books, or Grandpa coming over for dinner.

Don’t cater to the complaints.
If you try to hard to convince her that everything is okay you
may just make her nervous. Instead, stay light-hearted and have
confidence that everything will be fine. Most children stop crying
within five minutes of a parent’s departure. Ask your daycare provider
if this is true for your child. If you’d like, call the center when you
get to work or arrive at home, so they can reassure you that your child
has finished crying and is playing happily.

Don’t get mad.
Your anger will just make your child fuss and cry even more,
and it won’t solve a thing. It’s also a very unpleasant way to start
the day (for both of you.)
Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

Sep 21

By Nicole Lundrigan

When I was 15 years old, my sister gave birth to her daughter in a hospital following a 25-hour labor confined to a bed with an IV and an ever-beeping machine. In my mind, I was a terrific labor coach–kneading her lower back, offering her ice chips, and simply being a reassuring and very excited presence during those very long hours. My sister made it clear to the on-duty nurse that I was to accompany her into the delivery room. But after painkillers were administered, my sister got very fuzzy and was no longer able to insist on her wishes. Rudely, the nurse instructed me to step outside–I wasn’t needed. My niece was born a little while later, as I was sitting on a wooden chair out in the bright yellow hallway.

Ten years later I discovered that I was pregnant. One morning, after waking to light spotting, I went to my campus clinic for a blood test to ensure that I was not having a miscarriage. A few days later I got a call from a nurse, who informed me in a hushed tone that yes, indeed, I was pregnant. No, “Congratulations.” Only, “When can you come in to discuss your options?”

These were my two experiences with medicalized pregnancy and birth. Naturally, I decided to look elsewhere for my prenatal care.

Following the wonderful advice of a friend, I went to visit a midwife. Her office walls were covered with a multitude of photos of babies she’d helped to deliver. I knew I had made the right choice. The visit was relaxed, the midwife showed genuine excitement for my news, and each of my long list of questions was given careful consideration. When I left that day, I was filled with thoughts of natural childbirth, potentially at home.

My plans were met with a great deal of skepticism from others. Words such as irresponsible, ignorant, and downright crazy were not spared. Can you have an epidural at home? You will not be able to handle the pain. What about an episiotomy? You’ll surely need one of those to get the baby out. People commented that I should let the doctors handle it–they know how to deliver a baby. What could a 25 year old possibly know about that?

I had to look beyond my generation, beyond my mother’s generation, and into my grandmother’s generation for support. Lacking the multitude of books on pregnancy, labor, and childbirth, these women had an unwavering confidence in their own capabilities. Time restraints on the second stage of labor were not imposed on them. They were knowledgeable in labor and delivery (enough to know what was safe and when complications were arising), confident in their bodies, and able to trust their maternal instincts. They did not have to refer to a chart. Labor and delivery, even breastfeeding, weren’t hidden away from children or young adults. The process was natural.

Today, it seems that a tradition of womanhood that properly belonged to women themselves has been replaced by a tradition of technology.

I confided to my grandmother that I was planning a water birth. For me, it was the logical choice to include water in the birth of my daughter. My medicine chest is practically empty; my bathtub is frequently full. For a headache I don’t reach for a pain reliever, I reach for the faucets. When I’m fatigued and cannot sleep, I add a little lavender oil to the tub.

My grandmother felt that birthing in water would be very relaxing. She was confident that I could handle the pain, and ensured me that the discomfort was normal, healthy, and very exciting. She told me of her labor, and the fact that she had made raisin bread to calm herself. The standing helped her labor along, and the task at hand kept her mind off the contractions. While the bread was baking, her son was born. That seemed like a far cry from the hospital experience I had witnessed.

Now that I knew that birth did not have to be an institutional “procedure” I began to read everything that I could on natural childbirth, homebirth, and water birth. I concluded that a delivery without intervention is definitely safer–and that’s more likely to happen at home.

I also learned that some doctors prefer to induce pregnant women, which can lead to complications during delivery. When a labor is not going according to a statistically defined schedule, a cesarean section may follow. When an epidural is administered, not only may the baby be affected, but labor can be prolonged, blood pressure can drop, chances of a cesarean increase, and forceps or suction are often needed. The use of water reduces pain, providing a safe alternative to an epidural, and the benefits for both mother and baby are numerous.

I became very determined that the birth of my child was going to be a gentle affair, not a hospital sideshow. It would be an exchange of love between my husband, our unborn baby, and myself. In the end, it was exactly that.

Many people had questions and concerns about water birth. (Others did not want to hear a single word about it until the entire delivery was over. I must say that I appreciated the questions much more.) One of them was, “What if the baby starts to breathe underwater?” I learned that this is extremely unlikely. Research shows that breathing is stimulated by contact with the air or exposure to an extreme change in temperature. I knew the water should be maintained at around 99o F. In part, this was to prevent my becoming overheated during labor, but it is also a temperature that comes very close to the amniotic environment. When my baby emerged, there would be no temperature shock and no exposure to air, so she would not breathe. It should be noted, however, that if a baby’s head goes above water level as the mother moves during the birth, care should be taken to ensure that the head is never resubmerged.

Infection is also a common concern for people contemplating water birth. I was giving birth in my own home, where the germs were familiar and posed minimal risk. Water dilutes germs, making a water birth potentially less risky than a “land” birth. Water need not be sterilized like the instruments in a delivery room: if I could drink it, I could give birth in it. I suggested that we have a rinse pail available for people’s feet if they planned on getting in and out of the tub frequently, as at several points during labor and delivery my husband was in the tub with me. The student midwife also stepped in the tub a couple of times when I was interested to learn how far I had dilated. At one point I left the water, and the “land” contraction almost floored me. So I decided to pass altogether on leaving, and the student midwife did not mind putting on a pair of shorts and stepping in.

Although there may be less blood loss during a water birth because of reduced stress on the body, it’s difficult to estimate any blood loss because the blood is diluted in the water. I worried about this and decided that I would exit the tub immediately if the water became cloudy or obviously colored with blood. As a precaution, I planned to deliver the placenta outside of the tub. That way my midwife could more definitively assess blood loss and watch for any signs of continued bleeding.

While I was aware of these concerns during my labor, I welcomed sinking into the warm water of the ocean blue birthing tub. As soon as I touched the water, I relaxed. It was as if I was given a liquid epidural. My stress level diminished immediately. I had not realized how tightly the muscles in my legs and buttocks were until I entered the water. My jaw unclenched, my contractions were smoother, and I found it much easier to concentrate on my husband’s soothing words during the difficult contractions. I could change positions easily. Often my husband supported my neck and helped me to float between contractions. The water became a comforting blanket that enveloped my body and put me at ease.

I had total control during the pushing stage, as is common for women who give birth in water. In fact, I don’t recall actively pushing the baby out. It was as if my body took over; it knew exactly what to do. The baby helped a little bit, though, as she was pushing with her legs. The delivery was slow, and my perineum stretched gradually. There was no tearing, just a couple of minor abrasions–again, a common benefit of a water delivery. In hindsight I wondered if doctors would have opted for forceps or suction, as the pushing stage was longer than the statistical average.

The baby’s heart rate remained perfectly normal the entire time. As she moved from one warm liquid environment to another, the transition was minimal. Sophia never cried. She simply opened her eyes and looked around at her world in a state of quiet awareness. With the rising sun casting an orange glow into the room, she looked absolutely beautiful.

For me, the key to a healthy and natural childbirth was knowledge. My labor was not an easy or painless one by any means. In fact, I moaned so loudly that the neighborhood dogs joined in. But I recognized that the pain was normal–the stronger the contraction, the closer my baby was to being born. I worked very hard to keep the pain where it belonged–in my abdomen not my head.

Many women underestimate their own capacity to give birth and rely too heavily on the technology that exists. When people state that a doctor delivered their baby, it completely nullifies the hard work of the mother and father. My husband and I delivered our baby right here at home with the unobtrusive assistance of our midwife. It was the most remarkable moment of our lives.

Nicole Lundrigan is a recent graduate of the University of Toronto. She writes that she and her husband Zoltan are discussing having their second baby. “Sophia will be two in a couple of weeks, and I often reflect on the moment she was born. It truly is a life-changing event. I feel so sad to hear women reflect on the labor and delivery of their children with a combination of horror and anguish. Although they love their children dearly, it’s almost as if the birthing event itself needs to be grieved.”

Sep 21

by Elizabeth Pantley author of The No-Cry Potty Training Solution

When your child is learning to use the potty should you give lots of applause and praise, or simple, matter-of-fact acceptance? Which is the right response for potty-training success? If you research this seemingly simple question you’ll get adamant advice on both ends of the spectrum. Some experts say you should give lots and lots of positive feedback, including a party-like atmosphere – with noisemakers, cake and party hats. Others say you should avoid getting overly excited or emotional and simply acknowledge that he’s done well.

The right answer is that the right answer is different for every parent and child pair. Some parents are naturally more enthusiastic about everything their child does whether it’s taking the first step, building a block tower or tinkling in the potty. Other parents tend to be more reserved.

Children need different things from their parents, too. Some children thrive on their parent’s energy and will do anything for a round of applause, other children are easily overwhelmed and prefer more subtle praise. Even two different children in the same family will respond better to different levels of enthusiasm.

Probably the best advice is to do what comes naturally and what seems to encourage your child to keep trying. What’s most important is that you want your child to know that you support him, and that you are proud of his efforts along the way, as well as his successes.

A reminder to be patient
This whole potty-training process takes time. You probably won’t feel confident to completely turn over your child’s toileting to him for many months. So, relax, be patient, and enjoy the journey. Children are only little for a very short time – it’s nice to enjoy and embrace every moment.

This article is an excerpt from The No-Cry Potty Training Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Child Say Good-Bye to Diapers

Sep 21

By Heidi Dahlborg

Water covers 70 percent of the earth, and makes up 60 percent of our bodies as adults and 85 percent of a baby’s body. The salty primordial sea gave rise to much of life on earth, just as each of us gestated in the watery amniotic fluid of our mother’s womb before birth. Humans have a special affinity for water. It is a medium that is naturally comfortable for pregnant women, and provides endless fun opportunities for babies and toddlers. There are many ways you and your baby can explore the joys of water before they are old enough for classes.

Pregnant women and their growing babies can benefit from being in the water long before the baby arrives. I have taught American AquaNatal classes for six years. American AquaNatal is a method of water exercise developed to prepare the mother-to-be for birth on many levels. It prepares the physical body for birth by opening the pelvis, is an experiential lesson in breathing and relaxation for labor, and helps the mother connect to the baby growing in her watery womb. Water conducts sound well, and sounding to a growing baby while underwater is a particularly effective form of intrauterine communication. Many women over the years have reported feeling their baby for the first time when we were humming or talking to the babies during the class. Additionally, water offers pregnant women the comfort of reduced gravity, relieves back strain, lowers blood pressure, balances the amount of amniotic fluid in the womb, increasing the joint lubrication on stressed joints, and reduces ankle edema. The uniform hydrostatic pressure on your body when you are submersed from the neck down forces pooled fluids back into circulation and helps relieve many pregnancy-related discomforts, and makes for one big pee when you finally get out!

Many women who participate in AquaNatal also choose to use water for labor and birth. Water submersion has been rated to be as effective as narcotics for pain relief in labor without any of the harmful drug-related side effects for the baby. In many parts of the country, water tubs are available in hospital settings. In our local hospitals, you can use the shower for labor and ask to have your baby monitored intermittently. Birthing centers and homebirth midwives offer water tubs for labor. The doppler the midwife uses to monitor the baby is submersible, so the baby can safely be monitored while mom is in the water. Personally, in my labor, I found the difference between a contraction in the water tub and out of the water to be the difference between a three and an eight on a pain scale of one to ten. A contraction in the water was a whole other, very manageable world! I floated, and sometimes submerged myself with each contraction, and exhaled slowly into the water, to resurface after the contraction was over; it became a slow dance. I also spent long periods of time in the shower letting the water run over my back during painful back labor. The water gives the mother a sense of privacy and emotional safety, as she is not exposed. This sense of privacy, and the fluid environment of the water, supports the mindset of release and flow needed to birth instinctually.

Babies born in water experience an especially gentle transition, from the watery womb, into warm water, and are brought immediately out of the water into the mother’s arms, where they remain. And the connection of staying with your baby from the moment she emerges is priceless.

Large studies have shown waterbirth is completely safe. But water birth seems counterintuitive for many people, and brings up the fear that the baby could drown. At birth we are waiting so anxiously for a baby’s first cry, the signal that he is present and strong in his body. Babies develop in amniotic fluid. They do not gasp in amniotic fluid unless they are in crisis, and that is detectable in labor. That is why water birth is used only in normal healthy births. When babies are born, it is not the fact of emerging, but the contact with the air and the cooling evaporation off their wet, new bodies that stimulates the chemo receptors on their skin to send a signal to take the first breath. Water born babies do not breathe until they are out of the water.

Babies have a reflex called the mammalian dive reflex that keeps them from taking a breath under water. When submerged, their glottis, the valve at back of their throat, closes and their heart rates slows. The mammalian dive reflex is not only what keeps babies from inhaling water in water births, but also makes infant submersion possible. Remember the cover to Nirvana’s album Nevermind with the baby swimming underwater? That was not trick photography. Babies can go under water. The mammalian dive reflex is present in all babies at birth, and if not trained into a learned behavior, disappears at six months.

It is possible to train your infant to retain the mammalian dive reflex with simple playful exercises in the bathtub, and then you move on to a warm pool. You do not begin by submerging your infant, and parents should never submerge babies without guidance from a trained person. Swim instructor Rob McKay, founder of the Lifestyle Swim School in Boca Raton, Fla. says, “Children need to be comfortable and confident above water before they can ever begin to swim with their face in.”

Initial exercises parents can do at home include nursing in the tub or cuddling skin-to-skin, floating, and using verbal cues while gently running water on your baby’s face stimulate the dive reflex. The first way to orient a new baby to water is to simply bathe with them. Water is a great medium for bonding and for new babies to explore the use of their bodies. They unfold into the warm water. When babies float in the water with their mothers a few days after birth, they will resume positions and actions they are familiar with from being in the womb.

Just cuddling and floating in your tub will get your baby comfortable in the water. An old client said she was never as wet as the time she tried to forgo cobathing with her baby and use the infant bath. An infant bath topped the list of utterly useless baby gear for me. I spent long hours in the bath when pregnant, and spent long hours nursing my baby in my standard shallow, little tub. It was great to have the tub as a destination within my home in the first long weeks of parenting. My daughter got a lot of exercise standing in the water while at the breast, and kicking her little feet against the boundaries the tub provided. I would sit up and hold her little head out near my knees, and let her body float between my legs, suspended and supported by the water. When she was cranky or overwhelmed, the water was like a reset button. It restored calm, like she was being comforted by the familiar feeling of the amniotic waters she had recently come from.

If water runs over your baby’s face, that is enough to stimulate the dive reflex. To try it out, just take a washcloth, and warn your baby that you are going to put water on her face by telling her, and ask her permission. Say “1, 2, 3… go!” And squeeze water from a washcloth over her forehead so it runs down her face. You can do this in the shower. Just say, “1, 2, 3 go!” And then let the water run over her face. There is a particular congested look babies get when they are doing involuntary breath-holding from the closed glottis. If she does not seem to like it, stop. The reason you count is to give her a verbal cue that water is coming so she learns to anticipate it and hold her breath. This is how the dive reflex goes from an involuntary response to a learned behavior.

When introducing babies to water outside the tub, be sure it is warm. Begin acclimating the baby to cooler water temperatures by lowering the bathwater a degree or two until it’s around 90-92°F..If you find a nice, warm outdoor pool, be sure there is shade. A water play session with an infant should last about 20 minutes. If the baby becomes upset while in the water, nurse her or soothe her in the water. Try not to leave the water when the baby is agitated; wait until the baby is calm and then leave the water.

When my daughter was three-months-old, we were ready to move from the bathtub to a pool. We borrowed a relative’s hot tub, and set it at 90°F. She enjoyed just splashing around in the water with us. We kept the mood light and fun. Even with extensive knowledge of baby swimming techniques, my husband and I were both nervous when we tried the submerge techniques we had learned. We tried a simple “1, 2, 3 go!” as if we had been doing with washcloths and in the shower, and dunked her under and brought her right up. We just made it part of the continuum of water play to go under. When she was very young, she did not want to go under more than three or so times in a swim. We swam frequently, and when she was four-months-old, she was able to hold on to my shoulders and take a short dive underwater across the pool, or in the ocean. She progressed to being able to swim a short distance between us underwater. After each winter, she takes a few days to regain her old skills, and then quickly adds new ones to her repertoire.

The purpose of being in the water with your infant is to have fun and bond. Always respond to your baby’s receptivity to the water. If it’s not fun for both of you, don’t do it. “There are a number of excellent reasons for teaching toddlers to swim,” says McKay. “The best reason is probably just the sheer joy of it.”

Sep 21

By Elizabeth Pantley, Author of No Cry Sleep Solution

A good way to encourage good sleep is to get familiar with your baby’s sleepy signals, and put her down to sleep as soon as she seems tired. A baby cannot put herself to sleep, nor can she understand her own sleepy signs.

A baby who is encouraged to stay awake when her body is craving sleep is typically an unhappy, fussy baby. Over time, the pattern develops into sleep deprivation, which further complicates and interferes with your baby’s developing sleep maturity.

Pia, mother of eight-month-old Carrson talks about this problem, “I discovered that I had been putting Carrson to bed purely by the clock, not at all by his tiredness. Once I changed this dynamic and began identifying his sleepy signals he fell asleep easier and slept longer.”

Watch the clock, too!
Most newborns can only handle one or two hours of wakefulness at a time. A three-month-old gets tired after two to three hours of awake time. A one-year-old can be cheerful for about three to four hours, and a two-year-old about five to six hours. Once your child has passed his happy wakefulness stage he’ll quickly become overtired. He’ll then be easily overstimulated and find it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep.

Find that magic moment
Using the clock as a guide, and your child’s sleepy signals as indicators, you can find the magic moment when your baby is tired, but not overtired. When you witness those signs it’s a quick but calm trip right to bed – don’t launch into a prolonged pre-bed routine since your child may then get a second wind!

Typical sleepy signals
Every child is unique and has his own sleepy signs, and you can watch and learn these. Your child may demonstrate one or more of these signs that tell you he is tired and ready to sleep - now:

  • reducing his level of movement and activity
  • becoming more quiet
  • losing interest in people , toys and playtime
  • rubbing his eyes
  • looking glazed or unfocused
  • having a more relaxed jaw, chin and mouth (droopy looking)
  • becoming whiny and cranky
  • fussing or crying
  • losing patience or having tantrums
  • yawning
  • lying down or slumping in his seat
  • watching television or a movie with a blank expression
  • caressing a lovey or blanket
  • asking for a pacifier, bottle or to nurse

Your child may demonstrate one or two of these sleepy signs, or even something entirely different. The signs may change at each stage of development. The key is to watch your child and encourage him to go to sleep when he is tired.

Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from No Cry Sleep Solution (McGraw-Hill) by Elizabeth Pantley http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

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